Never sure if the emotions inside are authentic, they are changing invariably and though they seem completely real, and that I could never feel another way, they always differ within days. I fall in and out of love within weeks. I am like the girl who cried wolf but instead of being the one crying I am the wolf who is tearing out the hearts and ruins lives. Then at the moment I feel that I found the right one I have caused affliction to too many for it to be a reality. The wolf has been abolished and now I will reside in a state of utter confusion. I was not always like this, its a weakness that has drifted throughout my veins. I know that I care about him because to hurt him would be worse than if someone had shot me through the heart. He is free, free to love anyone and I will support with a smile because when you love that's what you do. How does one go about proving that they are no longer the wolf of a situation and that they could rely on them to always be there. He is my rock if only I could show him that I could be there the same way. Then again, is it love if you have to prove yourself? Is any love in that?
I know I love him because:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Patience - He is patient with me in every situation, I am so much to handle at times. I lose everything, I am loud and completely crazy, I say and do the most obnoxious thing, yet he remains patient with me.
Kind - He is the most kind, tenderhearted soul, though he comes off as a complete ass sometimes his heart is made of gold.
Does not dishonor - He is the most honorable person that I know. People from all over trust him. I know that he always has my back.
Keeps no records of wrongs - So many things have happened that he could hold over my head, rather then hold it against me he laughs and helps me through it.
Always protects - He would never let anyone hurt me, the main reason he is pulling the strings of my heart is because I know that I am safe with him. ALWAYS!
Not self seeking - He is opposite of anything of selfish with me.
Hope - He brings hope into the world. Some people may not see it in him, but I have always seen his heart and he will change this world for the better. Whether it is with me or someone else. He is hope, he is what I cling to when I feel like my dreams are fading. He is encouragement.
I'm not sure where I am going with this, but words help me to figure out what is going on with my emotions.
